The Dating Roster: How Many is Too Many?

Ah, the dating roster. The boys in the bullpen. The little black book. Trust us, we’ve been there too. And don’t worry, we know you’re not a h*e – just exploring ourselves ;).

If you’re not like us, then let’s dive in!

The roster: that trusty list of potential partners you keep on standby just in case things don’t work out with your current flame. A casual amalgamation of situationships with folks that you like just enough to keep around for that late night call (or even just to keep you company on a target run, IYKYK). But how many people should really be on that list? Is there a perfect number?

While we all have our own styles in the dating game, we have narrowed down a few key factors to consider.

  1. Your schedule

Are you a busy bee with a packed calendar? Or do you have a lot of free time on your hands? The number of people on your roster should reflect how much time you have to dedicate to dating. If you’re only free one night a week, you probably don’t want a roster with 10 people on it. Even if they’re just casual, let’s remember that they’re people too. Even if you’re using them for physical or other purposes (shoutout Mike for that AppleTV membership, love you Ted Lasso).

  1. Your energy levels

Let’s be honest, dating is really, REALLY exhausting… Especially if you’re an introvert or if you have a demanding job. Make sure the number of people on your roster is manageable based on your energy levels. Don’t spread yourself too thin and end up burning out. The last thing we want is to end up passed out on someone’s couch, half naked, and fully embarrassed. Oops.

  1. Your emotional capacity

While physically exhausting, yes, dating is also emotionally dating. Let’s be real, we call all pretend that we’re independent and don’t need no man/woman, but things change when it comes to the temptations of the flesh. So if you’re someone who gets attached easily or who has been hurt in the past, you may want to keep your roster on the smaller side. It’s important to protect your heart and not overwhelm yourself with too many options.

So, what’s the perfect number? Again, it’s different for everyone, but here are a few guidelines to consider.

For busy bees with limited time: 2-3 people

If you’re someone who is constantly on the go and doesn’t have a lot of time for dating, it’s probably best to keep your roster small. Focus on two or three people who really catch your eye and put your energy into those connections.

For those with more free time: 4-5 people

If you have a bit more flexibility in your schedule, you may be able to handle a larger roster. Four or five people is a good number to keep your options open without feeling overwhelmed. Get ready, though, you may find that you’re starting to spread yourself (pause) a little thin. This is the upper limit for the average techie.

For those with high emotional capacity: 6-7 people

Howdy partner, you might just be wrangling a few too many than you need. While all power to those with the ability to date many people at once, you may be entering the upper limit. Even if who is able to handle a lot of emotional connections at once, it’s important to make sure you’re not spreading yourself too thin and that you’re still able to give each connection the attention it deserves. It’s always awkward when you start reminiscing with Johnny about a date with Miguel. Big sad.

Of course, these are just guidelines. Some people prefer to keep their roster even smaller, while others may be comfortable with more people on the list. The key is to make sure your roster is manageable and not causing you stress.

So, there you have it: the perfect number of people for a dating roster. Keep in mind that everyone is different, and what works for one person may not work for another. Ultimately, it’s important to prioritize your own emotional and physical wellbeing when it comes to dating.

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